I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.