I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.