I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.