Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.