I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.