Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.