Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.