Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure