There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.