I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.