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  10  /  19  

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

by Walt Disney Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  54  /  19  

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

by Minna Antrim Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  33  /  31  

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

by W. C. Fields Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  32  /  35  

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

by Tommy Cooper Found in: Driving Quotes, Funny Quotes,
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  24  /  29  

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

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A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

by W. C. Fields Found in: Funny Quotes,
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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

by William S. Burroughs Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

by Oscar Wilde Found in: Funny Quotes,
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