After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.