Rodney Dangerfield

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May read more

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet