The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.