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  •   13  /  17  

    I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

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  23  /  25  

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

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  15  /  18  

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

by Oscar Wilde Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  12  /  14  

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  16  /  22  

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  19  /  17  

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

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  19  /  26  

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

by Yogi Berra Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  16  /  21  

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

by Rita Rudner Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  11  /  11  

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

by Jean Anouilh Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  34  /  21  

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

by Janeane Garofalo Found in: Funny Quotes,
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