I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Some men are born old, and some never grow read more

Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Some men are born old, and some never grow so.