Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.