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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

by Rodney Dangerfield Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  24  /  23  

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

by Jim Morrison Found in: Funny Quotes,
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The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

by Charles De Gaulle Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

by Rita Rudner Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

by Yogi Berra Found in: Funny Quotes,
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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

by Cassandra Clare Found in: Funny Quotes,
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A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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