Maxioms Pet

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    A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.

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  9  /  20  

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

by Milton Berle Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  33  /  25  

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

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  9  /  23  

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

by Al Franken Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  12  /  14  

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  36  /  37  

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

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  11  /  10  

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

by Warren Buffett Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  12  /  13  

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

by Henry A. Kissinger Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  12  /  21  

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

by Rodney Dangerfield Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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