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There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.