Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.