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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

by Helen Rowland Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

by Walt Disney Found in: Funny Quotes,
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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

by William S. Burroughs Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

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The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

by Diana Vreeland Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

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The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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