Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.