Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.