I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.