I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.