There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.