As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.