Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.