I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.