The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.