A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Well-married, a man is winged: ill-matched, he is shackled.

Well-married, a man is winged: ill-matched, he is shackled.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.