She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, read more

A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, too the time is coming when there will no longer be one standard of morality for poetry and another for life. To anyone tender of conscience, the ties formed by a free connection are stronger than the legal ones.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their read more

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a lot of overlapping.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

The heart of marriage is memories.

The heart of marriage is memories.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.