Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he read more

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in again.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he read more

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy read more

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Marriage is like life - it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses.

Marriage is like life - it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses.