Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.