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If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

by Sam Levenson Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

by Red Skelton Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

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Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

by Al Franken Found in: Funny Quotes,
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

by Rodney Dangerfield Found in: Funny Quotes,
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This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

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A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

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By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

by Richard Dawkins Found in: Funny Quotes,
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