There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.