Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.