An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she read more

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.