Maxioms Pet

X
Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  19  /  26  

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

by Yogi Berra Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  34  /  21  

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

by Janeane Garofalo Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  46  /  53  

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

  ( comments )
  44  /  21  

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

by Sam Levenson Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  7  /  12  

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

by W. C. Fields Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  24  /  22  

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

by Bob Hope Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  31  /  29  

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

by Helen Rowland Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  33  /  25  

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

  ( comments )
  54  /  19  

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

by Minna Antrim Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet