A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.