I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.