Phyllis Diller

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have read more

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done this? we have no enemies.".

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve read more

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and read more

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual