Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?
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I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil read more
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger read more
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to read more
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", read more
Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was read more
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the inpression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.
