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Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak read more
Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all read more
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).
a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe read more
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But read more
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, read more
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
