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Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight read more
Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
The British tourist was asked
what he thought of the
Grand Canyon.. and wrote
back
'gorge-ous'.
The British tourist was asked
what he thought of the
Grand Canyon.. and wrote
back
'gorge-ous'.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.
Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.
