One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
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With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.
There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.
Wit is cultured insolence.
Wit is cultured insolence.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you read more
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter read more
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
