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    If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

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  25  /  19  

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

by Agnes Repplier Found in: Humor Quotes,
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To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if read more

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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There's the humour of it.

There's the humour of it.

by William Shakespeare Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but read more

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all.

by John Kenneth Galbraith Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Puns are a form of humor with words.rn

Puns are a form of humor with words.rn

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  21  /  29  

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

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He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

by Anthony Burgess Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Unconscious humor.

Unconscious humor.

by Samuel Butler Found in: Humor Quotes,
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