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    If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

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Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Wit is cultured insolence.

Wit is cultured insolence.

by Aristotle Found in: Humor Quotes, Wit Quotes,
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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

by Orson Welles Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  26  /  23  

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

by Ambrose Bierce Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.

by Agnes Repplier Found in: Humor Quotes,
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I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

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We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

by Marguerite Gardiner Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you read more

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

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Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people read more

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

by George Bernard Shaw Found in: Humor Quotes,
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