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The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's read more

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

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Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

by Herb Caen Found in: Humor Quotes,
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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, read more

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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The gods too are fond of a joke.

The gods too are fond of a joke.

by Edward Albee Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Humor Quotes,
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He who laughs, lasts.

He who laughs, lasts.

by John Powell Found in: Humor Quotes,
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If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

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