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Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to read more
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.
My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).
a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
