Maxioms Pet

X
Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  34  /  22  

Unconscious humor.

Unconscious humor.

by Samuel Butler Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  23  /  15  

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

by Al Franken Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  22  /  16  

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

by Gloria Vanderbilt Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  14  /  28  

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

by George Jean Nathan Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  11  /  22  

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by read more

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

  ( comments )
  26  /  23  

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

by Ambrose Bierce Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  32  /  29  

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

by Charlie Chaplin Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  28  /  14  

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

by Herb Caen Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  24  /  15  

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet