We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but read more

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out read more

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

I never dare to write
As funny as I can.

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic
genius.

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic
genius.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.