You May Also Like / View all maxioms
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you read more
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you read more
Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' read more
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has read more
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.
Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.