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I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

by James Gibbons Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  32  /  29  

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

by Charlie Chaplin Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  9  /  19  

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

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I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using read more

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  19  /  30  

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

by Horace Walpole Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  27  /  36  

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

by Langston Hughes Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live read more

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

by Mark Twain Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight read more

Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.

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Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you read more

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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