Maxioms Pet

X
  •   11  /  7  

    Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  21  /  11  

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live read more

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

by Mark Twain Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  21  /  14  

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.

by Unknown Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  23  /  22  

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

by Orson Welles Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  16  /  8  

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

by Peter De Vries Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  17  /  18  

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.

by Edward W. Howe Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  19  /  22  

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

by W. Somerset Maugham Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  24  /  15  

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  35  /  31  

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.

  ( comments )
  19  /  34  

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

Maxioms Web Pet