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If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.
I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably read more
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'
