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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' read more
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.
I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more
I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.
Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of read more
Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
