Maxioms Pet

X
  •   17  /  11  

    Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

    by Eminem Found in Humor Quotes,
Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  38  /  29  

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

by Mahatma Gandhi Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  16  /  22  

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

by Anthony Burgess Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  22  /  31  

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' read more

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  22  /  16  

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

by Gloria Vanderbilt Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  23  /  12  

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.

by James Gibbons Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  23  /  15  

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

by Al Franken Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  19  /  18  

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

by Romain Cary Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  11  /  7  

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of read more

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

by Lana Turner Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  24  /  15  

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet