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    Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

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  20  /  29  

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

by Allen Klein Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  17  /  30  

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

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  13  /  13  

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

by George Carlin Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  18  /  18  

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold read more

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  28  /  14  

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

by Herb Caen Found in: Humor Quotes,
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The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on read more

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.

by Unknown Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  24  /  11  

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of read more

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

by William Arthur Ward Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Humor Quotes,
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If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw read more

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

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