Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything read more
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more
I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.
In the end, everything is a gag.
In the end, everything is a gag.
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Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
