I'm religiously opposed to religion.

I'm religiously opposed to religion.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably read more

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he read more

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

But the religion most prevalent in our northern colonies is a
refinement on the principle of resistance, it is read more

But the religion most prevalent in our northern colonies is a
refinement on the principle of resistance, it is the dissidence
of dissent, and the protestantism of the Protestant religion.

Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion read more

Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and read more

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.