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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't read more
At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far.rn
Love is like seaweed; even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent it from coming back.
Love is like seaweed; even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent it from coming back.
Wit is cultured insolence.
Wit is cultured insolence.
WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.
WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and read more
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more
Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.
