Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' read more

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me read more

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.

There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.