Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

He who laughs, lasts.

He who laughs, lasts.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on read more

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.