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    Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

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  21  /  34  

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to read more

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

by Jack Handey Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  9  /  19  

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it read more

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

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  24  /  11  

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of read more

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

by William Arthur Ward Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  16  /  22  

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

by Bob Edwards Found in: Humor Quotes, Laughter Quotes,
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I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British read more

I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.

by Al Franken Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  14  /  28  

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

by George Jean Nathan Found in: Humor Quotes,
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The gods too are fond of a joke.

The gods too are fond of a joke.

by Edward Albee Found in: Humor Quotes,
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In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  38  /  29  

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

by Mahatma Gandhi Found in: Humor Quotes,
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